Intimacy

Some thoughts from last year…

How many times do we take our significant others for granted? We would never do so intentionally, but our busy lives just take over. Most of us are on auto-pilot, we get up, go to work and/or take care of our children all day, prepare dinner, put the kids to bed – by the end of the day, we just collapse and let our minds vegetate or move on to other projects. We all have our ways of doing this. Mine, is crashing on the couch with the tv on, computer in my lap and puppy on my feet. Even in my rest, I am multi-tasking and I would guess that many of you do this too. Most of us would say we are just too tired to read our bibles or study. We have worked long and hard and just need to rest, so life goes on, day by day – on auto-pilot just getting through it all.

My favourite days of the week are Sunday and Wednesday. These are days that I have commitments for church & bible study. These days fulfill the need and desire to worship the Lord. Times that I can slow down and concentrate on His character and learn more about how I should be changing… I often wonder about this. Why, if these are my favourite days, do I not study more at home, take more time to pause and worship the Lord?

As I am writing this, it is just past 11 and I have just given in to go to bed even though I should have been asleep hours ago. As I settle in, I touch my husband’s face and tell him that I love him. As he mumbles incoherently, I smile because I know that he is trying to return the sentiment. As I look at him, I see him – I mean really see him. This is the man that I fell in love with, the man that I want to live out the rest of my days with. I marvel at the rush of emotions that flood through me. All of those beautiful feelings from new love are stirring, but now, they are complimented with trust and familiarity. Remember the moment that you first realized you were in love with that someone special? Remember the pounding of your heart, the shortness of breath, the joy, excitement and fear. Those are the feelings that flowed through me, those and more. When you first fall in love, you wonder if your love will be returned and it can be terrifying. There is a guarding against forgetting how completely and totally in love that I am with this man and growing complacent in that love, guarding against letting life get in the way and taking him for granted.

As I lie here watching him sleep, I know that I love him even more than that first moment. We have grown together and a beautiful friendship born out of love, respect and trust as well as faith in the Most High God. God has bound us together and allowed us to understand love as He intended it – in a way that some people will never understand. There is no doubt in my mind that I would do anything for this man and he for me.

So how then could I need to be reminded of how I felt when I first laid eyes on him, during our first conversation, that first time that he held my hand? How could I need to be reminded of how much I love him and how much I know that he loves me?

As I lay contemplating this, I realized that this is the same thing I have been experiencing of late in my relationship with God. I love Him deeply, much more so than when I first met Him. But, I often don’t see Him clearly in my rush to get through every day. On Sunday’s and Wednesday’s I am undeniably confronted with the person of God. I am surrounded by worship and must stop all other business of life. It is in those moments that I see Him, really see Him for who He is, the Almighty God, the lover of my soul, my Father.

As I thought about this further, I came to the realization that the real issue with both my husband and my God was the loss of intimacy. Intimacy is defined as a close personal relationship, a quiet and private atmosphere and a detailed knowledge resulting from a close or long association or study. I was allowing the business of my life to prevent me from seeing both my husband and my God clearly. A very dangerous thing… I have taken them both for granted by rushing through the days and just letting life carry me. Don’t misunderstand me, that doesn’t mean that I don’t deeply love them, it means that the close relationship – the one where my husband and I can practically read one another’s minds – is often clouded over with other things/people – the business of life. The connection is not operating to its full potential. It is at times like these where misunderstandings can occur and potentially worse yet, we carry on with the ritual of life not realizing that anything is wrong.

So where did all of this come from? As I went to bed I was praying for God’s wisdom in a difficult situation – one in which I will have to think on my feet. Praying that when this situation came to a head, that the Lord would talk to me a bit faster than usual – and maybe louder too. I want to be sure that I am hearing Him loud and clear instead of opening my mouth and sticking my foot in by uttering words that would hinder His purpose. So He did speak to me immediately and quite loudly he said, “Intimacy. That is how you can be sure to hear from Me in perfect time and more clearly. As closely as you were thinking of seeing your husband more clearly, see Me more clearly. Walk closely with Me and I will always deliver you. Don’t grow complacent in your relationship with Me, take the time to see Me for who I am.”

That came in loud and clear… Many days I still fail to slow down and do this and I suffer the consequences. I now I understand the reason why and I know the solution.

I would love to hear your thoughts…  Leave me a comment below.

Advertisements

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. carol wilson
    Oct 09, 2010 @ 15:01:18

    Well written Kris and I agree with you. We become complacent and need to turn our eyes again to see Him. I fail so much to spend the time with Jesus that He so much desires. He sought me out not the other way around. He pours out on us His love and we fail to see it. I’m trying to stay alert not only to the wiles of the devil but to the awesome love of our Savior. I join my prayers with you for a closer walk with Him.

    Like

    Reply

  2. Sherrill
    Oct 02, 2010 @ 20:36:44

    Wow—-that was awesome. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Older Posts


%d bloggers like this: